Self-love =/= Self-confidence

This is something that’s been swimming in my head for weeks, probably months now. I recently touched base on how self-love is a constant journey. I have good days, I have bad days. That’s not the point of this post though.

My point is, just because I’m on a journey to continuously loving myself it doesn’t mean I’m confident at all. There are things I am confident about yes, but it’s just not the same. In fact, I might say I’m more confident about certain things I do than I am about loving myself.

They’re two different concepts. Self-love is about loving yourself. Appreciating who you are, being comfortable in your own skin, loving you for being you. At least, that’s how I define it. Everyone has their own take as to what this means to them. I love having conversations about this.

Self-confidence is another idea altogether. This encompasses being able to put yourself out there. A capability that not a lot of people have. Because to say ‘Eff it, I’m not going to give a damn and post it anyway’ is not the same thing. It’s ‘not giving a crap’. That is not related to confidence. People tend to confuse these concepts as if they’re one and the same but it’s actually on opposite sides of a spectrum.

‘Not giving a damn’ is saying you don’t care about it. It’s just a thing that you made and that’s it. Having self-confidence about yourself, or your content; entails that you care. You put effort, thought, and worked on it. You love what you made, you’re comfortable with whatever it is about you or what you’ve done. It’s something that you project, put out to the world.That’s confidence. I want more of that. I also want more self-love.

In a time where the idea is for everyone to love themselves more and to pay less attention to the ideals the media sets out for us; confidence is lacking. People are scared to put themselves out there even when they feel they’re having good day. Anxious people can be confident and vulnerable, leading to really unpleasant scenarios.

There’s also social media addiction and people who become too addicted to likes, views, replies. These things become their validation, the thing that gives them self-confidence…which is even worse. Self-confidence starts to feel more like a construct than an actual thing that’s needed for mental peace. Being sure of yourself sounds nicer and less conceited at this point.

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