This is going to be yet another serious post from me. It’s something that’s been swimming in my mind for a long time now. I’m going to go into some details obviously but if you feel anything similar, do sound off.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before but, part of my anxiety includes feeling guilty over everything that goes wrong. Even if it’s not my fault. Even if it has nothing to do with me. I’m always apologizing.
It’s the first thing out of my mouth at any given time someone near my is experiencing even the slightest inconvenience. It’s the most messed up habit that my anxiety causes me. I always default to thinking I’m a hindrance, or that something bad happened in something totally that has nothing to do with me was my fault anyway.
Having thoughts like that is so debilitating. I know I’ve been over this multiple times but that’s a part of having these issues. This is part of what having mental health issues is.
Why am I always so sorry? Why am I always asking for forgiveness for the most minor inconvenience? Why am I sorry for being myself? I wish I had a better explanation other than I feel that a bunch of bad things are my fault.
When did this start? A few years ago. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment though. I wish I could. It’s something that could definitely help me figure out a way to change that behavior. Sure, telling myself that there is no need for me to apologize for being myself or for existing is a step I’m normally taking but it doesn’t always help.
Some part of me always feels like I’m being a bother. Doesn’t matter the situation. I’m trying to make it stop.
How about you? Ever felt this way? Sound off below if you’d like.